


Meant

by allnonchalant (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-12 08:49:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11733684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/allnonchalant
Summary: Yuta and Sicheng have some sort of relationship, too romantic to be considered platonic, but not enough emotions involved to be considered as more. The system worked for a while, but Yuta's approaching rut causes cracks in the foundation, ultimately collapsing under the weight of unspoken words and unresolved tension.OrThe angsty wolf Au no one asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt the intense need to write an angst fic involving yuwin, thus, this was born. Yuwin just hits me as an angst pair with a lot of pining and miscommunication, mainly on Winwin's part because he's a smol confused bean, he's my fave though.

_He wasn’t expecting to see Taeyong waiting outside his classroom. He lifted his head as a way of saying, ‘what’s up?’ The older boy stopped leaning against the wall and beckoned for him to follow as he walked in the opposite direction from where the Chinese male had to go. The protest died on his lips when it was evident the other wasn’t going to stop, he sighed, irked at his behavior._

_It wasn’t until they arrived at a small clearing that was hidden behind trees and other plants that were overgrown and not taken care of, allowing for the secret place to exist, that Taeyong spoke. “Yuta is going into a rut soon.”_

_Sicheng put his hands in the pockets of his sweater, unsure of what to say. The information was not surprising, it was typical for an alpha to go into a rut, just as an omega went through heats. He settled for a small shrug. “Alright, so? He’s gone through ruts before, this isn’t news to me.”_

_The white haired male sighed, a puff of white cold air coming out from his lips. “Yes, he’s gone through ruts before, but this one is different. It’s not going to be pretty, well, heats and ruts are never pretty, but ruts normally don’t involve an alpha in pain. The two of you have been very close these past few months and it needs to stop. He’s going into a rut soon and you’re not helping-”_

_“What does this have to do with me? I haven’t done anything-”_

_“Exactly! You haven’t done anything and because of you, he has to deal with it!”_

_Sicheng stepped back in surprise and slight fear, not expecting the loud voice. Taeyong ran a hand through his hair, licking his lips in an attempt to calm himself. He lowered his voice, not wanting to scare the willowy framed boy any more than he already had. “Look, you’re not a werewolf so I don’t expect you to understand the severity of the situation, but I need your help.”_

The hallway of the apartment complex was as Taeyong had said it would be, empty and unusually quiet, most days it was crowded with people, mainly other werewolf hybrids. Sicheng stood in front of 219, staring at the door, raising his hand several times before bringing it down, hesitation keeping him from knocking.

Could Yuta’s rut really be that bad?

He shook his head and mentally hit himself on the head, of course, it was bad. The hallway wasn’t deserted for no reason at all, the smell of Yuta’s rut that was soon to come left no room for anything else in the narrow space, causing other wolves to avoid going in and out.

Sicheng bit his lip, he didn’t want to have the upcoming conversation with the alpha, but he had to, he couldn’t be selfish.

_“Couldn’t he just take medication?”_

_“No, that’s part of the reason why he’s in this situation in the first place. You could only take so many pills until they cap out. That’s what Yuta’s been doing, he would switch between pills and_ spending _his ruts alone. They won’t have any effect on him now.”_

 _They were now sitting on the bench, Taeyong explaining everything to him. He swallowed the lump in his throat, it was evident what the elder was going to ask of him, but he idiotically spoke_ anyways _. “So, you want me to tell him to spend his rut with someone?”_

Taeyong _nodded, placing a hand on his knee in an attempt to comfort him. “Yeah, he won’t listen to me if I suggest it, I’ve already tried, but he brushes me off. You’re not an option.”_

_Sicheng wasn’t given a chance to respond, Taeyong quick to question him. “You’re gonna let him claim you? Become his mate?”_

The door opened, revealing a disheveled looking Yuta who smiled at the sight of him, a radiant expression on his face. “Winko! I wasn’t expecting you to come over.”

Sicheng returned the smile, enjoying the way the nickname rolled off his tongue, not that he would admit that aloud. “I wish you wouldn’t call me that.” He shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows in a playful manner. “Sooo, are you going to invite me inside, or are we just going to stand here all day?”

Yuta scrambled to fully open the door, allowing for the taller male to enter the apartment. “Sorry! I’ve been absent-minded lately - please ignore the mess!”

The request was hard to comply with, a bottle of lotion was on the coffee table, a cloth was shoved into the couch, a poor attempt at hiding evidence of what the male was doing, and the messy state his clothing was in. “It’s fine, I don’t think I’ll be here long.” The Chinese male paused, trying to find the right words to start off with, but finding nothing. “You’re going into a rut soon.”

The shorter male seemed surprised and annoyed, only noticeable by the slight curl of his lip. “Yeah, it happens every month, your point?”

It would be a lie to say Sicheng wasn’t taken aback by the faint bite in his tone. The subject was clearly something the other didn’t want to discuss, but he wasn’t going to let that change his mind. “Are you going to spend it with someone? It’ll be bad if you don’t-”

“Let me guess, Taeyong told you that?” The annoyance became more noticeable as he glared at the wall behind him. The question was rhetorical, they both knew the answer. “He doesn’t know shit, I’ll be fine. I don’t need someone to help me.”

_“Why is he refusing to spend his rut with someone?”_

_Taeyong sighed and leaned against the bench. “You. Why else? He hasn’t laid eyes on anyone else since he met you, he’s too busy picturing a future with you that won’t happen.”_

_Sicheng tried to not let the words get to him, but it was hard. A future for the two of them didn’t seem too far off, he just needed to sort through his feelings to form something concrete where he’d feel comfortable enough with the idea of becoming Yuta’s mate._

“You know that’s not true. You’re part of his pack and he cares about you, he’s just worried. _I’m worried about you._ ” Regardless of how badly he didn’t want Yuta to sleep with someone else, it was necessary. The repercussions of continuing to spend his rut alone were greater than what he felt. “If you continue like this, it could really affect you negatively, you could go feral.”

“Those are just stories, you shouldn’t pay any mind to them. Old people just say them to instill fear into the younger generation-”

“Yuta, please. You haven’t been well this week, you’ve fallen behind in practice, you never fall behind. You need to let-”

“Why does it have to be someone else!? You’re right here, you could help-”

_“He might ask you to help him instead, but don’t listen to him.”_

Sicheng shook his head furiously, quickly interrupting Yuta. “No, you know that’s not a good idea. Taeyong already found someone who is more than willing to help you.” It hurt to see the crestfallen expression that befell on the brunette’s face, but it had to be done.

“No, I refuse! I’m not some dumb alpha! I can control myself, I won’t claim-”

_“Yuta thinks he’ll be able to resist claiming you, but he won’t be able to. Ruts don’t allow an alpha to have a clear mind, at least not completely, especially not with the state he’ll be in after avoiding it for so long.”_

“I’ll see you after your rut is over, I don’t think it’d be good to be around you in the meantime. Good luck.”

_“Oh, Sicheng, one more thing, you’ll need to avoid Yuta and the pack until it’s over. Your scent has an influence over him, we can’t chance the possibility of him going after you.”_

“No, wait! Sicheng-”

He walked out of the apartment, extinguishing the bit of hope that burned in Yuta’s eyes.

His own apartment felt empty as he sat on the couch staring blankly at the TV. His roommate, Renjun wasn’t home yet, leaving Sicheng to his thoughts, not positive if that was a good or bad thing.

The sound of someone knocking on his door disrupted the nap he was about to fall into.

Taeil walked inside, taking a seat on the couch he previously lay on. “I’ve been trying to contact you since earlier, but you weren’t answering. I wasn’t sure if you were purposely ignoring me or if you were busy.”

He ran a hand through his auburn hair, joining the shorter male on the comfy seat. “No, I was busy with Yuta, trying to convince him to spend his rut with someone.” The brunette had a guilty expression on his face, confusing Sicheng. “What? Why do you look like as if you did something wrong?”

“I should have given you some sort of warning earlier. I thought the two you would’ve gotten together by now, I didn’t think it’d reach this point.”

Maybe under different circumstances, he would’ve felt some sort of anger, but he couldn’t blame the other. “No, it’s not your fault, I should’ve known-”

“Sicheng, you couldn’t have known, you’re not a werewolf-”

“That’s the problem, we won’t work for that exact reason, I’m human and he’s not. It doesn’t matter how much I care for him, I’m still inadequate…” He leaned forward, rubbing his face in frustration. “I hate this.”

Taeil rubbed his back, comforting him however he could. “Yuta doesn’t care what you are, werewolf or human, it wouldn’t change how he feels for you. Taeyong and Yuta have been at each other's neck recently. He doesn’t want to sleep with anyone unless it’s you.”

He wished he could ignore the look of pity the shorter male gave him, he didn’t want pity, didn’t want anyone to feel bad for him. “It doesn’t matter, he’s better off with some pretty omega or beta.” Sicheng stood up walking towards the doorway. “I appreciate you coming, but you shouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t want to taint you with my scent, Taeyong might tell me shit.” He spoke sardonically, bitterly remembering his earlier conversation with the head alpha. “I’m supposed to avoid the pack until this is over.”

“I disagree, I think the two of you are made for each other. He’ll come back to you after his rut, just have some faith, a little bit of hope.”

It was only after the shorter male left, when Renjun came home, that Sicheng allowed himself to crumble. His roommate held him as fat ugly tears cascaded down his porcelain face, offering whatever consolation he could, assuring him that things would turn out okay, regardless of what happened.

That was a week ago.

Sicheng sat on the small bed staring at his phone, reading the text over and over as if the message would change and bring good news instead of bad news. His hand clenched the small cellular device tightly, tempted to throw it against the wall in an act of childish defiance, but that wouldn’t change anything, he would just be left with a broken phone and hurt feelings that couldn’t be fixed as easily as a phone could.

He thought on what Taeil told him last week, left with an ill-feeling sensation in his stomach. “Where’s my faith, my hope now, Taeil.”

He laid down, phone on his chest as he looked at the ceiling in the hopes that it would somehow deliver a way of responding without appearing mad or upset. His fingers kept pressing the keys on the screen, forming different responses that were all met with the same fate of being deleted, replaced by a simple, ‘it’s fine’, packaged with a smiley face to emphasize how unbothered he was. And it was indeed fine, everything was _just peachy_. The change of plans, or lack of, did not affect him in the slightest. Sometimes a lie is more comforting than the truth.

Exhaustion flowed through his body, causing his eyes to droop slightly. Dance had been particularly draining today. Taeyong insisted on pushing them past their limits, the competition was nearing and they didn’t have time to slack, their dancing had to be perfect. It was difficult keeping up, he didn’t have the same inhuman stamina and strength as the rest. Coming home only to receive bad news just added to the shitty day he experienced. He allowed his eyes to fully close, letting sleep take over.

 

* * *

 

It was dark out when he left the apartment, making his way to Taeil’s at a steady pace. The crisp winter air felt surprisingly nice against his warm skin. It was exactly what he needed to wake him up after the power nap he took.

The first thing he told Taeil when he arrived had the shorter male flabbergasted. “Fuck your hope.”

The brunette blinked several times, completely clueless as to why Sicheng said that. “I don’t...I don’t understand? I’m not following?”

“You know that movie that came out recently, Okja? I really wanted to watch it, we made plans to go together. Not anymore, guess who he’s taking instead? I’ll give you a hint, she’s an omega.” His voice was laced with bitterness. “He didn’t even want to watch the movie, I did, he said the animal was ugly and weird looking.”

Taeil exhaled, remembering Yuta complaining about the movie until Sicheng piped in and asked if anyone wanted to watch it with him. Haechan looked excited to go, but it didn’t last long when Yuta butted in, stating they’d go together. “Maybe he’s trying to thank her? You know how he is.”

The Chinese male didn’t believe that, it was blatantly obvious, but neither of them said anything. Truth be told, Taeil didn’t fully believe it either.

That was only the beginning, Yuta slowly began to pull away from him further and further until texting wasn’t even a common occurrence between them. They’d see each other in the hallways, the small cafe on campus, on the way to their classes, but there were no smiles, no sign of acknowledgment. The only time they interacted was during dance practice, but even then it wasn’t anything large, just a nod of the head, or a small meaningless smile you would give a stranger on the street. Most of his time seemed to be spent the pretty omega who had bouncy curls.

He wasn’t jealous, no, not at all.

In turn, Sicheng pulled away as well. He no longer hung around the pack, instead, he took to avoiding them like a plague, except for the select few who made a valiant effort to keep in touch with him, keeping him updated on what went on. After the competition he quit dance, deciding to focus on acting when the two clashed with his schedule. To his surprise, they threw him a party, sad to see him leave after the memories they formed. Yuta didn’t show up, it was the omega’s birthday, Sicheng didn’t question it further, not wanting to deal with more disappointment, his plate had plenty of it.

A week turned into two weeks that turned into a month, time wasn’t slowing down for anyone, especially not Sicheng.

It was almost like deja vu seeing Taeyong stand outside his classroom much like he did a month ago, except things were different, this time it was the elder who chased after him. He didn’t wait, thinking he must’ve been waiting for Jaehyun.

“I know you and Yuta haven’t exactly talked in awhile and this doesn’t really concern you, but have you listened to what people have been saying?”

Sicheng looked at the white haired boy from the corner of his eye, shrugging his shoulders. “No, I don’t really pay attention to what people spread."

“You haven’t heard then, good.” It was a thought that slipped from Taeyong’s mouth, clear from the way it didn’t seem directed at anyone. “I think Yuta is going to take her as a mate, at least he said he was, but I don’t how true that is. They haven’t known each other for very long.” He pulled the taller male to side, not wanting to stand in the way of anyone. “You need to talk to him, tell him he’s being impulsive-”

“Impulsive? Didn’t you say some wolves make a connection as soon as their eyes meet. What makes this any different? Maybe he’s serious about her.”

Taeyong looked surprised, obviously not expecting that sort of response. “You’re - aren’t you mad!? You’re not worried he’s making some sort mistake? Mating is no joke. You know this.”

Sicheng looked off to the side, making eye contact with some random girl. She sped off quickly, embarrassed that she was caught listening to their conversation. “I don’t have that right, we weren’t even together-”

“You had something-”

“It obviously wasn’t anything special if he’s so quick to claim some pretty omega. You should be ecstatic, it’s not like you ever really approved of us. I heard she’s a pureblood, she’ll make a great addition to your pack, won’t she?”

The elder shook his head, not approving of the contemptuous tone. “I didn’t think the two of you would last, relationships are different for wolves.” He looked at his watch, sighing when he saw the time. “Shit - listen, just talk to him. Maybe you can persuade him to not go through with it, or at least prolong it.”

“You’ve asked for a lot lately.”

Taeyong walked backwards, looking at him as he left. “I know, I’m sorry. I need to go or I’ll be late to my class.”

“I don’t think he’d listen to me, it’s been a month since we’ve talked-”

“Sicheng, please. Talk to him.”

He was tempted to flip him off, but that’d be childish and he was feeling mature that day.

Sicheng was contemplating how he would approach Yuta, how he’d bring the topic up, but the decision was made for him when he received a text message. The alpha asked if he could bring all the stuff he left in his room, claiming he needed them back. He wasn’t sure if he believed that, it felt more like an excuse, a way of saying that their friendship, or whatever they had, was over, almost as if he was trying to soften the blow. But it did nothing of that sort, if anything it felt worse, it just made the Chinese male feel like he wasn’t worth a proper goodbye, as if what they had didn’t matter.

He took his time grabbing Yuta’s things and packing them in two separate boxes, constantly hit with an onslaught of memories, remembering how each item found refuge in his room. Perhaps the item he was saddest to see go was the well-worn soccer jersey from high school. He held in his hands, resisting the urge to smell it. Normally he would wear it to bed, but that hadn’t occurred since Yuta’s rut, wanting to preserve his natural musk, knowing the smell would go away if he washed it. He couldn’t dirty it, not that it mattered now, his efforts had been futile.

Sicheng stood in the middle of his room, holding the two boxes as he looked around. It felt roomier, he would often complain it was getting crowded because of all the things the alpha would ‘forget,’ but now he missed the clutter. The soccer ball he would often trip over in the morning was packed away, the old guitar that was perched against his drawer was now in its case, the single earring he loved to wear was no longer hanging from his lamp. He should be happy to see those things gone, the earing was the reason his lamp had a large hole in it after Yuta hung it there so it wouldn’t get lost, only for it to get caught on the fabric. He would no longer have to worry about any injuries from the soccer ball. And the guitar would no longer be there to remind him of Yuta’s shitty guitar playing.

The hallway felt longer than it had a month ago, made it feel as if he was in a movie and it was reaching its end, even as he walked he could feel it. Unlike last time, he didn’t hesitate to knock on the door, albeit struggling with how his arms were currently full. He expected Yuta to open the door and take the boxes from his hands, thanking him for bringing them before closing the door and letting him leave, but he was instead met with a shout inviting him inside.

Sicheng exhaled deeply, not happy with the idea of entering the apartment, but he didn’t have much of a choice. The door closed behind him and he stood in the entranceway for a few seconds.

“In here!” Yuta’s voice could be heard from his bedroom.

He swallowed the large lump in his throat, mentally preparing himself for whatever was about to take place.

The brunette was all dressed up in a suit. To put it simply, he looked good, _really good_ , but that wasn’t a surprise, he always looked attractive. Sicheng was unsure what to say, contemplating telling him that he cleaned up nicely, but that sounded stupid in his head, it wasn’t as if he’s never seen him dressed up.

Yuta stopped messing with his hair, turning away from the vanity look at him. “Oh, is that everything? You didn’t forget anything?”

He stupidly nodded his head, putting the two boxes forward. The smile that was given allowed for some hope to form, sparking a small flame in Sicheng. Maybe things could be amended, they could make things better, put a proper label on their relationship, not something that was between friends and lovers, but it was short lived.

The alpha pointed to a corner of his room where a box was set. “I’ve had a few of your things packed for two weeks, I just never got around to fully packing everything. I finished today, but I’m not sure if I forgot anything.” He looked at himself in the mirror once more, making sure nothing was out of place. “I’d stay and help you, but I’m actually meeting Mineko’s parents. I’m gonna be late if I don’t leave now. You can look around and see if I forgot anything, just lock the door when you leave.”

Sicheng stood frozen in the room for a few minutes, repeating the words, ‘I’ve had a few of your things packed for two weeks’ and ‘I’m actually meeting Mineko’s parents’ in his head over and over again, a torturous cycle. Yuta knew it was over before he did, he planned the ending before he even saw it.

He grabbed the box that was meant for him and looked around one last time, willing the tears away. The Chinese male wouldn’t break down in here of all places. He didn’t want the walls to bear witness to his break down.

“Yuta - Oh, Sicheng it’s you…” Taeyong opened the door before he had a chance to, blocking his exit. His eyes instantly turned to the box, confusion written on his face. “Why are you holding that?”

He laughed bitterly, holding the box up so that it was in front of the other’s face.  
“You wanna know what this? It’s all my shit packed into a box. It only serves as evidence that we’re gonna be fine. Doesn’t it?”

Taeyong opened his mouth, before closing it and biting his lip. “I-I...I don’t know what to say..”

“You know what the worst part is, it’s been packed for two weeks, _**two fucking weeks**_!” He shook his head, blinking slowly at the feeling of tears caressing his cheekbones. He hated how easily he was breaking, even more, furious that it couldn’t have waited till he was in the safety of his room.

Taeyong’s face softened, not taking any pleasure at the sight of the younger male falling apart. “Sicheng....”

Sicheng looked at the alpha, hardening his face, refusing to appear weak in front of the other. He breathed deeply, ignoring the wetness on his face. “I think you were wrong, _very fucking wrong_. Because he’s meeting her parents right now at this very moment as we stand here.”

Any other day he would’ve been happy proving Taeyong wrong, to see the shocked expression on his face, to bask in the glory of being right, but today was not any day. He pushed passed the silent male, but not before saying one more thing. “Tell him I wish him the best because I don’t think I could say it myself.” He offered him a weak sad smile. “I’ll see you around.”

Hope was a good thing, kept you going when nothing else could. It would taste like the coolest glass of water after traveling through a desert thinking it was the end. But that’s not always the case, sometimes it was the very reason for suffering, made you think you had some sort of chance when in reality, there never really was. It would only prolong the hurt. During these times it would feel like you were swallowing needles until you eventually questioned why the fuck you were doing that in the first place. What was the point? In the end, things wouldn’t be resolved, you’d just be left in a worse condition.

Only fools would keep going at the falsehood of hope. And Sicheng was, unfortunately, a fool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping I can have this finished by the end of the week, but I'm not entirely sure if that's going to work out because most of my focus will be on updating my main fic. That and I'm not sure how long this is going to be, I know I want it to be at least two chapters, but I'm kind of leaning towards three, but we'll see.
> 
> I don't want there to be any confusion, so I'm just going to list who is in the pack. Not everyone is going to be mentioned, but I'm going to include them anyway.
> 
> Taeyong - Head alpha
> 
> Yuta - Alpha
> 
> Johnny - Alpha
> 
> Hansol - Alpha
> 
> Mark - Beta
> 
> Jaehyun - Beta
> 
> Haechan - Omega
> 
> Taeil - Omega
> 
> Sicheng - Human
> 
> Kun - Human
> 
> Doyoung - Human
> 
> Renjun - Human
> 
> I just want to add, if anyone is the type that likes hearing songs that match the story, I would suggest listening to Watch by Billie Eilish. I was listening to music as I typed the first chapter and the song came on when I got to the end and in the chorus, she says, 'I'll sit and watch your car burn with the fire that you started in me, but you never came back to ask it out.' It just reminded me of this.
> 
> *Update, kind of, not really. I've officially decided this will be a three-part.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was hard, Yuta couldn’t find words to say, he wasn’t even sure why he sat down, his feet just carried him. Maybe it was because he missed the other, tired of the space between them, wanting to close it, but uncertain of how to do it. He would have to say something more interesting if he wanted this conversation to go anywhere. “What game are you playing?”
> 
> Sicheng didn’t even bother looking at him this time, pressing the screen at a rhythmic pace. “Geometry Dash.”
> 
> “Oh, no more Candy Crush?”
> 
> The Chinese man let out a tired sigh, quitting the app and putting his phone down. “What do you want Yuta? We haven’t spoken in almost two months, I can’t fathom why you’re suddenly in the mood to talk to me. Shouldn’t you be off with Mineko somewhere? Taeyong said you weren’t going to be at practice today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The main reason I made this fic into a three part was so that I could include Yuta's POV. I felt that it would help with the story. It'd give the reader a better understanding of what he was thinking, it'd also build more back story. I hope it did just that because if it didn't, then I didn't really do my job.
> 
> I'll fix any mistakes I've made later, it's late and I'm tired. This chapter honestly drained me, but I had fun writing it despite the struggle.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Yuta sat on the edge of the bed, head buried in his hands, regret flowing through his body as he recalled the bit from the last few days he could remember. Most of it was blurry, masked by the fog his rut created. The bed shifted under him, the omega he slept with moved around, as if aware he was no longer lying with her.

His thoughts instantly went to Sicheng, wishing it was him in bed and not some girl whose name he still hadn’t bothered to remember. He pictured his smile, brightening his day regardless of what happened, how giggly he’d get whenever they’d hug and Yuta nuzzled his neck, taking in the sweet floral scent of rosewood, lavender, and grapefruit that his body emanated. It was the first thing that caught his attention when they met. Normally he wasn’t a fan of floral smells, but the Chinese boy was an exception.

_He rubbed his forehead, sweaty and damp from working in the library with no air conditioning to cool him down. His naturally warmer body temperature did nothing to aid in his dilemma. “Why is it so fucking hot today, of all days.”_

_“Well, it’s summer, so it’s only natural for there to be heat. It’s unpleasant, but there’s not much you do.”_

_Yuta looked up, not noticing the timid looking boy who was standing in front of the counter. The lithe boy looked nervous, not a surprise when he wasn’t the friendliest looking guy. “Yeah, doesn’t mean I can’t complain. Is there something you needed?”_

_The stranger perked up, remembering why he stood there in the first place. “Yes, yes I do. I’m supposed to be writing a research paper for history on the Japanese’s view of the war, but I’ve sort of procrastinated. I was hoping you could point in the right direction.”_

_“You’re in luck, it just so turns out that I happen to be Japanese. I know all there is to know about my culture.”_

_The tall boy smiled, turning his eyes to the floor, making his shyness obvious. “As interesting as that is, I don’t know if that would be very useful. I’d prefer a book or two. So, if you could just tell me where to look, that’d be great.”_

Yuta was shaken from his nostalgia induced mind at the sound of the omega waking up. “What are you doing? Come lay down some more, your rut still hasn’t fully gone away.” The brunette looked at her, trying to find something he found pleasant about her. She had a nice face, big round pretty eyes, a cute button nose, and a soft voice to accompany it. Her figure wasn’t bad either, but it wasn’t quite what he was looking for. But it didn’t matter if she wasn’t ideal, what he wanted, at least she was willing to give him a chance.

That thought alone stopped him from rejecting her and putting it to a halt. Instead, he smiled at her, licking his lip as he raked his eyes up and down her body, brushing the thoughts of small does eyes and plump lips away. “Mhmm, yeah, we’ve just begun.”

 _Yuta stood in_ back _of the auburn haired boy, aware of the lovely scent his body emitted, it was hard not to notice now that they were in such close proximity. He didn’t realize he got closer until the other backed up into him, almost dropping the book, save for the alpha grabbing it before it fell._

_The younger male quickly turned around so they were now facing each other. His cheeks were faint rose pink, but noticeable to his observant eyes. “I - uh...thank you?-”_

_“Yuta, my name is Nakamoto Yuta. And yours? We never did introduce ourselves.” He held his hand out, waiting for the taller male to take it._

_“Dong Sicheng, but some people call me Winwin.” He shook Yuta’s hand, giving him a big grin._

_The alpha held the book in his hand, toying with it. “You really need this book for your paper, right?” He paused, continuing when Sicheng nodded. “How about, in exchange for me giving you the book, you give me your number? You get the book, I get your number and I could help, it’s a win-win situation.” He added a wink at the end, just to be extra._

_Sicheng threw his head back, laughing at the terrible joke. “Fair enough, you are from Japan after all.”_

_As Yuta watched the auburn haired boy put his number_ in _his phone, he couldn’t help but think that he was adorable, really fucking adorable, and he couldn’t wait to spend more time with him._

Taeyong came back to their shared apartment as soon as he was notified his friends rut was over. “So, how did it go? Are you feeling better?”

Yuta dug through the fridge, looking for a quick snack. “It went really well, I’m feeling a lot better.” He pulled out yogurt, grabbing a spoon and digging it into the small container. “She asked me out, said she’s been wanting to watch Okja but no one she knows wanted to go with her.”

“And you said yes? You’re gonna go with her? Didn’t you make plans with Sicheng?”

“Yeah, why not? She’s a werewolf, an omega, a pureblood for that matter, and best of all, she’s actually willing to date me. He’ll understand.” Yuta was about to put a spoonful of vanilla yogurt in his mouth, stopping when he noticed the white haired boy’s disapproving stare. “What? Why do you look so disappointed? You didn’t even approve of Sicheng, you should be ecstatic that I’m thinking of taking her on as a mate-”

“A mate!? You’re thinking of claiming her? What the fuck Yuta? You barely even know her-”

“So? She already helped me with my rut, we’ll just get to know each other better. Nothing is set in stone yet.”

Taeyong shook his head, not agreeing with what he was hearing. “What about Sicheng? You’re just going to drop him like that? All that effort you put into the relationship-”

“What relationship!? We weren’t dating - hell, who knows if he even liked me. You saw how easily he let me sleep with someone else-”

“Because there wasn’t much of a choice! He couldn’t help you, you would have probably claimed him during your rut. Spending it with a stranger was a safer option, you wouldn’t have been familiar with their scent - oh you think you could’ve handled it?” Taeyong saw the protest in the alpha’s eyes, quick to question. “Look at that, you’re hesitating because you know you would’ve claimed him in a heartbeat. A rut doesn’t give a clear mind, our more animalistic side shows and unfortunately our minds get cloudy, we aren’t the most considerate during it, especially when it’s put off for such a long time.”

Yuta looked angry, hand tightly holding the yogurt container, some of the product spilling from the top. “Listen, it doesn’t fucking matter anymore, I’ve already made my decision.” He threw the yogurt in the sink, no longer hungry as he washed his hands. “Anyways, I have a class in about an hour, so I gotta go get ready. I’ll see you later.”

Taeyong wanted to stop him, to try and convince him otherwise, but he just had to be patient and wait. He didn’t think it would continue for long, things would go back to normal, he was sure of it. Sicheng and Yuta would get their shit together and make it official, but he was unaware of how wrong he was.

The white haired alpha was starting to tire of Yuta avoiding Sicheng, insisting he moved on and no longer wanted anything to do with him. He sat down on the table, greeting the brunette.

Yuta picked at his food, not noticing Taeyong’s gaze that switched between him and Sicheng. “Hey, you know we used to date,” he nudged his head in the Chinese boy’s direction across from the room, speaking with some male neither of them recognized. “Before you even knew who he was, it didn’t last very long, about a month.”

The white haired alpha took a bite of his noodles, chewing the food before continuing with what he was saying. “I met him through Taeil and we got along, it was after his ex left. We had some sort of connection, maybe that’s why we slept together as soon as our relationship started, even before that. Guess you just didn’t have the same effect on him, not like I did. I’ve missed him recently.” Taeyong stood up, food not even finished as he left and threw it away, not bothering to turn back.

Yuta looked at his retreating figure in a mix of shock, hurt, betrayal, and anger. He couldn’t quite grasp why the other had told them this now when they weren’t even speaking anymore. It shouldn’t have affected him, he was the one who stopped talking to the auburn haired male, but jealousy still crept up his throat, filling his head with ugly thoughts. The two of them never went that far, their bare bodies never met in a private dance of intimacy. Often times they’d rut against each other in the urgency of that of a high school student who didn’t know patience, hands thrown in the mix to bring the other to completion. On rare occasions, if Sicheng was feeling eager to please, he’d fall to his knees, plump lips red and stretched around him, falling apart untouched at the sound of praise.

He looked up intending to look at Sicheng but instead saw Mineko accompanied by Taeil who looked like he didn’t want to be in her company. The two walked towards the table he was seated at. The raven haired omega looked happy and cheerful to see him, but Yuta felt nothing of that sort, looking straight through her. “Yuta! I’m glad I found you, we haven’t spoken today - Yuta? Where are you going?” The girl looked upset at being ignored by her future mate, watching as he stormed off. She turned to look at Taeil, mouth already stuffed with food. He shrugged his shoulders, not commenting on the fact that he went in the same direction a certain Chinese male had gone, though, it seemed the smaller omega caught on, mouth morphing into a prominent frown.

Yuta followed a few feet behind Sicheng, pausing at the end of the stairs, suddenly conscious of what he was doing. The emotions he felt earlier turned to confusion, questioning why he was following the taller male with the motive to demand answers when he lost that right. He sighed, about to turn around and leave, but not before looking up one last time, heart speeding up when he was met with Sicheng’s curious eyes, facial expression quizzical. The auburn haired boy was looking right through him. He was frozen, wanting to raise a hand to wave or offer him a smile, at least something that wouldn’t leave him looking like an idiot.

Sicheng’s attention shifted to something or someone in back of him, the sound of a female yelling could be heard from behind him. “Sicheng! Wait up!”

He looked to the side, watching as a girl brushed past him, hurriedly walking up the steps to catch up to the slender male. Yuta looked at the two, trying to make out what they were saying, only catching the word help. He felt a pang in his chest when she linked their arms together, dragging him off somewhere, remembering when he'd do the same.

It was after a full month passed by that he decided it was time to officially severe things between them, but he was unsure how to do just that. He didn’t want to hurt Sicheng, he wanted things to be quick, ripped off like a bandage.

Yuta paced back and forth in his room, thinking of different ways he could tell the other whatever they had was officially over. He cursed out loud when he almost tripped over a dirty shirt on his floor, throwing it in the direction of his closet when the box that had been sitting there for a while caught his eye. It was the auburn haired boy’s things, neatly compacted like a gift waiting to be received. He walked over to it, staring at it as he came to a decision. That’s how he’d get the message across, he wouldn’t even have to say it verbally.

Muffled knocking could be heard from his room, it must have been Sicheng. He let out a deep breath, not expecting the Chinese to have his things ready by tonight. Yuta shouted for him to come inside, hoping he could be heard from the bedroom.

He pretended to mess with his hair, knowing that it didn’t need any more fixing, but he didn’t know what else to do with his hands. Yuta stopped messing with his hair and Sicheng entered the room, turning away from the vanity look at him. “Oh, is that everything? You didn’t forget anything?”

Sicheng nodded his head, pushing the two boxes he held in his arms forward, a way of saying ‘take them.’

The alpha put them down next to his bed, giving the taller male a gracious smile, ignorant to the small bit of hope he sparked in the other, only to take it away seconds after. He pointed to a corner of his room where a box was set. “I’ve had a few of your things packed for two weeks, I just never got around to fully packing everything. I finished today, but I’m not sure if I forgot anything.” He looked at himself in the mirror once more, making sure nothing was out of place. “I’d stay and help you, but I’m actually meeting Mineko’s parents. I’m gonna be late if I don’t leave now. You can look around and see if I forgot anything, just lock the door when you leave.”

Later when he got home, he saw Taeyong sitting on the couch as if waiting for him, but when he stood there, waiting for him to say something, the white haired male shook his head and left, not offering any reason behind his disenchanted demeanor. At that moment, he couldn’t help but wonder if he made a mistake.

 

* * *

 

Yuta walked down the hallway, passing Ten who smiled at him. When he arrived at the studio he did not expect to see Sicheng sitting against the wall. The younger male was on his phone, probably on one of those games he liked playing, despite how horrible he was. The alpha walked closer, standing to the side of him, waiting for the other to notice his presence. His shadow loomed over the male, causing him to pause his phone in order to look up at the elder.

Sicheng acknowledged him with a nod of his head, watching as he slid down the wall, both now only inches apart as they sat next to each other. Yuta swallowed the nonexistent lump in his throat, willing himself to say something. “Hey, it’s uh...it’s been awhile, hasn’t it.” He face-palmed mentally, scolding himself for saying such a dumb thing, especially when Sicheng looked at him, eyebrow raised as he slowly nodded his head.

It was hard, Yuta couldn’t find the words to say, he wasn’t even sure why he sat down, his feet just carried him. Maybe it was because he missed the other, tired of the space between them, wanting to close it, but uncertain of how to do it. He would have to say something more interesting if he wanted this conversation to go anywhere. “What game are you playing?”

Sicheng didn’t even bother looking at him this time, pressing the screen at a rhythmic pace. “Geometry Dash.”

“Oh, no more Candy Crush?”

The Chinese man let out a tired sigh, quitting the app and putting his phone down. “What do you want Yuta? We haven’t spoken in almost two months, I can’t fathom why you’re suddenly in the mood to talk to me. Shouldn’t you be off with Mineko somewhere? Taeyong said you weren’t going to be at practice today.”

That’s right, Sicheng quit dance last month, claiming it was getting in the way of his studies, at least that’s what he could remember from what Taeyong had told him. It sucked, but Ten took his position, he was the only one who had enough flexibility to replace him. They had a performance coming up and said person was struggling with a few moves, insisting they ask the ex-dancer for help.

Unwarranted anger and jealousy sparked within him, agitated that the most Sicheng spoke to him involved his pack leader. “I didn’t realize how much you and Taeyong talked, I thought the two of you didn’t get along. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, you dated him before me after all.”

Sicheng ran his tongue along the bottom of his top teeth, clearly not appreciating his tone, the way he almost seemed to talk down to him. “I’m guessing he told you? Though I don’t see why that’s any of your concern, but if you must know, yes, we did date, for like a month, give or take.”

“Why!?” Yuta couldn’t help but explode, a part of him had hoped it wasn’t true.

The Chinese male sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I honestly can’t tell you a hundred percent why, I think there was many reasons. I had previously been in a relationship, but we broke it off because he went back to China. I was a bit lost, I didn’t have many friends at the time, Taeyong was aware and he took care of me. You know, I don’t even think he liked me, at least not romantically.” Sicheng played with the hem of his shirt, pulling on a piece of thread that hung. “I think he just liked that he was doing some good, he liked taking care of people, it’s in his nature, and I liked being taken care of, we just seemed to fit, for a short a while anyway.”

Yuta had to agree, it sounded just like him. It was part of the reason he held high respect for the white haired alpha. He bit his lip, hating how he could picture the two together, perfectly fitted like puzzle pieces. “Then why did it end.”

“I liked him more than he liked me, it also became apparent that someone else held his attention,” he let out a small hollow laugh, remembering what he felt at the time. “I remember how jealous I was, I was furious, mainly at myself. I questioned what was wrong with me, thinking that maybe if I was enough, his eyes wouldn’t have drifted to someone else. But to be honest, I really don’t think his heart was ever mine, I really don’t think so.” The thread he was pulling began to unravel, causing him to stop, not wanting his shirt to fall apart. “I’ve noticed that’s sort of my problem, I tend to like people more than they like me.”

There were a few seconds of silence, Sicheng letting his story hang in the air. “My ex, the one before Taeyong, he told me that when - if he came back, maybe we could continue our relationship.”

“Did he ever return?”

Sicheng turned towards him, both now looking directly at each other. “Yeah, I’m sure you know him. Kun?” He smiled when Yuta looked astonished. “Surprised? We’re quite different, aren’t we?”

Yuta wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to laugh, so he didn’t, instead, he nodded. The two were quite different, save for the fact they were both quiet and smart. “Why didn’t the two of you get back together then, since he returned?”

“He met someone new while he was in China, I met someone as well. You know how he told me? We had this tradition where we’d send each other cheesy tourist postcards, the last one he sent me was a picture of him and his new boyfriend. His way of saying it was over, he thought that was the best way to do it because nothing says it's over like sending a picture of your new _dearest._ ”

Sicheng rested his head against the wall, looking at the ceiling as he continued. “They’re still together by the way, even though they’re not in the same country, which I find ironic, but funny because that was the exact reason why we broke up, he didn’t want to deal with a long-distance relationship.”

The alpha almost said that was a fucked up thing to do, but the way he ended things weren't much different. He just packed Sicheng’s stuff into a box and returned it. “Why didn’t you give us a chance? I would’ve treated you right.” He held his breath, scared to know the answer to the question he’s been dying to ask.

“When I met you and began to have feelings for you, I got scared, I let my past experiences get in the way.” Sicheng kept opening and closing his mouth, struggling to find the right words. “The way I felt for Taeyong and Kun does not compare to what I felt - still feel for you and I...I regret not taking the chance when I had it. It’s entirely my fault and now you're just another example proving that I’m easily replaceable.”

Yuta wanted to wrap his arms around him, tell him that wasn’t true, confess that he missed him, that he wanted to make things right, but words were never his forte. He hated how miserable Sicheng looked, but he didn’t get a chance to say anything. Ten and Taeyong entered the studio, the Chinese male quickly standing up to walk over to the raven haired male, taking a water bottle from his hand.

The white haired alpha looked at him, raising an eyebrow in question. Yuta shook his head, now was not the time.

As soon as he got home he took a shower, hoping it would help ease his mind, but it did nothing of that sort. When that didn’t help, he sat in front of TV, anime usually proved to be a useful distraction, but flashbacks from earlier kept lingering.

“Are you alright? You seem to be really distracted today, you even kept messing up the steps during practice.” Taeyong was buttoning up his shirt as he watched him, waiting for a response.

Yuta waved his hand, attention still directed at what was in front of him. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just haven’t slept well - why are you dressed up?” He finally looked at his friend, taking in how he cleaned up. “Wait a minute, do you have a date?”

There was a faint blush on Taeyong’s cheeks, embarrassed that he was caught so soon. “You make it seem as if I’ve never been on a date before.”

“Yeah, but it’s rare. Who is it? How’d you meet him?”

“I don’t think you’re very familiar with him. His name is Doyoung. I’m not even sure if it’s actually a date, he just asked me to join him for a family dinner so his parents would stop pestering him-”

“But you don’t like getting involved in those sort of things, you must really like him if you said yes.” Yuta wiggled his eyebrows, smirking when he saw how worked up the male was getting. “You still haven’t told me how you met him.”

“Shut up, you’re being childish. I’m just doing him a favor.” Taeyong bit his lip, appearing as his he was thinking about the word choice of his next sentence, exhaling when it seemed it wouldn’t matter how he said it. “I first met him when I was dating Sicheng, but I was with him so it didn’t matter.”

_“I liked him more than he liked me, it also became apparent that someone else held his attention.”_

“Did you have feelings for him while you were dating Sicheng?”

Taeyong had the decency to somewhat look ashamed. “Yes - don’t look at me like that, it's not like I did anything about it. I didn’t pursue him.”

“But you were with him, did you ever even like him?”

The white haired boy shook his head, looking at the floor guilt.

_“But to be honest, I really don’t think his heart was ever mine, I really don’t think so.”_

Yuta laughed bitterly, head replaying Sicheng's words from earlier. “Guess we’re all assholes, aren’t we? I’m not judging you Taeyong, we all make mistakes. Don’t let it ruin your night.”

He slouched in his seat, pausing the TV and letting the silence fill the apartment, disrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. The caller id read Mineko, he let it ring until it went to voicemail. Yuta came to a decision, grabbing a sweater and his keys before walking out the door, phone left on the coffee table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I don't know if anyone is going to pay much notice to the thread Winwin played with towards the end, but I unintentionally related it to how Yuta was now learning why he was flaky and essentially playing hard to get. I don't know, I just caught it and thought some would find it interesting, maybe that's just me.
> 
> Also, there might be people reading this who don't really care for smut and only care for the plot, which is fine, but in the next chapter, I'm going to give a warning when the smut begins. It'll be some sort of symbol, but I'll bring it up again in the notes next chapter.
> 
> I'll try to get to comments, if there are any new ones, as soon as I can, but I have to pack all my shit tomorrow because I'm moving. I doubt anyone really cares to know like it honestly doesn't really matter, but I'm just saying because I might be slow with responses.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The apartment felt so empty when he arrived home, he felt slight regret for not taking Taeil up on his offer to spend the night at his, but he didn’t want to intrude. He walked to the kitchen, deciding he’d eat something before doing anything else.
> 
> Sicheng heard knocking, in spite of knowing it was late, he checked the time. His gaze turned back to the door, he wasn’t expecting anyone at this time. He raised an eyebrow as he got off the counter, leaving his phone next to the microwave. The Chinese male opened the door, eyes opening wide at the sight of Yuta. It didn’t even cross his mind to consider him an option when wondering who was outside waiting.
> 
> The brunette looked awkward and nervous, hands in his pocket as he stood there looking at him. “Hey...I uh...I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d stop by. Is it fine if I come inside? I know it’s late, but I felt like seeing you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the final chapter. I hope those of you that stayed throughout this whole story enjoyed the ending. I had a ton of fun writing it.
> 
> I want to note that the story took place over a month and some weeks, I'm saying this because the part where Yuta and Sicheng are in the apartment and they make up, I wrote, "Just as it had been a month ago," and I don't want people to think that they got back together right after the ending events of the first chapter. I don't know, it's nothing major, just a small detail, but I felt the need to say that.
> 
> Are ya'll ready to sin?
> 
> I really don't know how well the smut turned out, I hope it's at least decent, but it's literally my second time writing smut.
> 
> As I stated in the last chapter, for those of you who don't care for the smut section, just read until you see &&&&&&. That's where it begins.

Sicheng was currently at Taeil’s apartment, seated on an old brown couch. His hands were perched on the lid of a cup of bubble tea, head resting on top of them. Pink soft lips kept letting out a string of ‘ah’s’ and sad contemplative sighs, annoying the other male in the room who finally snapped, fed up with the melancholy he filled the room with. “Fuck, Sicheng, I adore you, but honestly, _what the fuck_?”

The auburn haired male looked up at him, raising an eyebrow in question as if he didn’t understand what the issue was. “What am I doing wrong?”

Taeil let out an exasperated groan, rubbing his temples in frustration. “You’re brooding, quite heavily if I might add. It was cute at first, but it’s gotten tiring. The atmosphere in this whole apartment screams ‘I’m sad!’ I love you, I really do, but love, you gotta tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

“It’s kind of a complicated story.”

“Your life has been rather complicated recently, hasn’t it?” The shorter male sighed, looking off to the side before turning his attention back to his best friend. “Go on.”

Sicheng told Taeil everything, not leaving a single thing out.

“Well, most of that was nothing brand new, the two of you are still idiots, just bigger idiots now.” He rubbed the Chinese male’s shoulders, giving them a soft squeeze.

“I don’t know what to do. After I told him everything, I wanted to beg him to take me back, but there was no point. He has Mineko.”

“Look, I’m not going to encourage you to steal her man, but you clearly mean more to him than she does. You just have to wait and see what happens, he came to you first, that means something.”

Sicheng nodded, unsure of what else to say. He was exhausted, his body felt drained.

Taeil stood up, offering him a hand, “You look tired, get some rest. You can stay here for tonight if you want, I know Renjun is off on some trip.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just gonna go home, but you’re right, I should get some rest, and I will. Don’t worry.”

The apartment felt so empty when he arrived home, he felt slight regret for not taking Taeil up on his offer to spend the night at his, but he didn’t want to intrude. He walked to the kitchen, deciding he’d eat something before doing anything else.

Sicheng heard knocking, in spite of knowing it was late, he checked the time. His gaze turned back to the door, he wasn’t expecting anyone at this time. He raised an eyebrow as he got off the counter, leaving his phone next to the microwave. The Chinese male opened the door, eyes opening wide at the sight of Yuta. It didn’t even cross his mind to consider him an option when wondering who was outside waiting.

The brunette looked awkward and nervous, hands in his pocket as he stood there looking at him. “Hey...I uh...I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d stop by. Is it fine if I come inside? I know it’s late, but I felt like seeing you.”

It was a lie, there was no way Yuta could’ve had any business nearby. His apartment was on the other side of town, opposite to his. He had no reason to be there, but neither of them commented on this. He tried to ease the thumping in his chest, pushing thoughts of this meaning anything away. “Yeah, that’s fine. I wasn’t even sleeping, I was reheating some food…”

Sicheng closed the door, not wanting more cold air to get inside. He looked at the alpha standing in his living room, looking around as if expecting things to be different as if furniture would’ve been moved around, but everything was still in its place just as it had been a month ago as if the events that took place never happened.

He walked to the kitchen, not wanting to relive the memories again. “I’m reheating kimchi, would you - ah,” he jumped when he felt arms grip his hips, nose buried in his neck. He hadn’t even heard the alpha walk into the room. “Y-Yuta…?”

The brunette inhaled his scent, further burying his head into the back of the taller boy’s neck, reveling in the familiar smell. “Sicheng...please - just please let me.” He lowered his face between his shoulder blades, pausing for a second before trailing back up his spine to his nape, soft hair caressing his forehead and eyes.

Sicheng couldn’t help but swallow at the sensation, it felt intimate, too intimate. He had to put a stop to it and push the other away, but he couldn’t deny that he was enjoying it. It reminded him of early chilly mornings when their limbs were tangled and they were caught up in each other's embrace, blissfully unaware of the world around them. But things weren’t the same, Yuta was practically promised to someone else, probably already mated and claimed. “Stop, we - this isn’t right, you have-”

“I couldn’t go through with it, I thought I could, but I think - I think I just wanted to hurt you, to make you feel what I felt when you rejected me.” Yuta rubbed his hip bones, a habit he picked up during the many months they were together. “You haven’t been eating, you feel skinnier.” He pressed against the prominent bones harder, emphasizing his statement.

Sicheng leaned his head back, resting it against the brunettes broad shoulder, despite having protested against their proximity just seconds ago. “It’s been hard lately...I-I’ve miss you, a lot. It’s been kind of hard lately.”

“That’s going to change, I’ll make-”

“No, stop!” He pulled away, throwing himself against the corner of the counter. “I-If this is - whatever you’re doing right now is temporary, it has to stop. I don’t want it, the last few weeks have made me realize that you’re more than just a momentary body to hold me, to give me affection when I can’t find it elsewhere, to convince me I’m worth loving regardless of my past failed relationships.” He took a deep breath, trying to take control of his emotions through blurry vision, realizing that he started to cry, tears falling down his face. “I’ve been selfish Yuta and I’m not going to feed you some cliche bullshit telling you we belong together because I don’t know that. If you choose to stay, I don’t know if in the future you’re suddenly going to decide I’m not worth it and that scares me. It scares me not knowing.”

Yuta walked closer, just standing right in front of him, looking him straight in the eyes. “I have that fear too, I’m scared you’ll leave me one day. When you left my apartment that day, I thought that was the end, I told myself you didn’t want me, but I just felt worse in the end.” The brunette placed his hands on each side of Sicheng, closing him in so he couldn’t run. “But I don’t care anymore. The first weeks were the hardest, I’d find myself walking to your classes to wait for you like I used to, I would buy a carton of your favorite ice cream and drive to your apartment, and then you quit dance. I realized what a huge mistake I made, but I still did nothing to fix it, I pushed through, thinking I could learn to love some omega, but she wasn’t you, she couldn’t replace you.”

Sicheng bit his lip, not wanting to get his hopes up, forcing Yuta to softly grab him by the chin, forcing their eyes to meet. “I love you, Sicheng,” he leaned forward, their faces a hair part, “I love you, all of you.” He whispered the words one more time, kissing the auburn haired boy to seal his confession. Sicheng hesitantly reciprocated the kiss, scared if he seemed too eager he’d drive the brunette away, but Yuta was having none of that, grabbing hi,, closing the distance between their bodies. He pulled away, letting their foreheads rest together, watching as the male licked his lips. “Say it. I know you love me too. Say it.”

Sicheng placed his hands on Yuta’s chest, rubbing the hard surface. “I-I love you. I _really_ fucking love you.”

The alpha clutched his wrist, bringing it to his mouth, brushing his lips against the pulse point. “ _Again_.” He smiled, loving the way the words rolled off his lips, especially because they were directed at him.

“I love you, Yuta, and I don’t want to stop loving you.”

 

&&&&&&

 

About two months had passed by since the two officially got together, their friends congratulating them and telling them it was about time the two stopped being idiots.

Yuta was propped up against the headboard, Sicheng in his lap, head tucked under his chin. They were just sitting there, enjoying the warmth their bodies radiated, basking in the silence. He pressed his nose into the soft auburn hair, inhaling the faint scent of lavender that hit his nose, it was pure bliss.

“Mhmm, Yuta?” Sicheng lifted his head, facial expression revealing he was nervous.

“What is it?” He gave the male his full attention, wondering what had him on edge. Worry filled his head, fearful that Sicheng may not want him anymore, deciding that it wasn’t worth.

The auburn haired male didn’t say anything, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss before pulling away seconds after. “I want you to claim me.”

Yuta’s eyes widened, looking at Sicheng’s face to see if there was any hesitance written on it. He let out a sigh when he saw none, running a thumb across his bottom plush lip, eyes darkening when a pink tongue darted out to lick the tip. The brunette removed his finger before tracing his jaw line, pressing a soft kiss right below his ear. “Are you sure?” He pulled back, looking at Sicheng, eyes intense as he waited for a response.

The Chinese male hesitantly nodded his head, hands loosely holding onto his broad shoulders. The alpha hadn’t done much, but everything already felt too intense and hot. Sicheng pressed an innocent chaste kiss to the corner of his lips, letting out a small mewl when the brunette gripped his hips tightly, bringing them down so that his ass pressed against the forming erection.

“Hmm, I don’t know…,” Yuta teasingly rubbed circles on sharp hip bones, slipping his fingers under the band of his underwear, the coldness of his hands meeting Sicheng’s warm skin. He sucked a red mark into his jawline, moving up to nip at his ear, hotly whispering in it, causing chills of want to run down the auburn haired boy’s spine. “I don’t know if you’re ready.”

“No! I am ready!” Sicheng protested when the alpha began to pull away, scared that he was going to leave. He tried to yank him back, but the other didn’t budge, chuckling at his efforts. Yuta leaned forward, as if he was about to kiss him, but stopped right in front of his face, their lips millimeters apart. “Are you sure,” his lips formed a small smile as he said it.

Sicheng eagerly nodded his head, he’s wanted to take the next step in their relationship for awhile now, but never quite knew how to bring it up. Now that he gathered enough courage to say something, he didn’t want it to go to waste.

Yuta finally kissed him, tongue probing at his lips, asking for entrance. The kiss was slow and sensual, not heated and hurried. The brunette slipped his hand under his shirt, running along his spine before lowering it into the back of his jeans, stroking his crack. He used his other hand to unbutton his jeans, allowing him to push forward and press his forefinger against his clothed hole. Sicheng's hold on his shoulders tightened, bunching the soft material of his shirt, breaking the kiss when the finger dove in his underwear, circling his rim.

“So eager,” Yuta removed his finger when he clenched around the tip of the digit, not wanting to prepare the auburn haired male dry. “I barely touched you and you’re already trying to suck me in”

Sicheng muffled the whine on the tip of his tongue, mouthing at the alpha's neck to leave his own marks, grinding his hips down for a few seconds before getting up, brushing Yuta’s hands aside when he tried grabbing for him. “We’ll see how you get when I suck you off.”

The brunette laughed, tangling his fingers in Sicheng’s soft hair as the male laid on his stomach, unbuttoning his jeans. “Yeah, but you like sucking cock.”

“N-No! I do it because you said you love how I look with it in my mouth-”

“Your lips look - fuck,” Yuta paused, thinking of the times he sucked him off, the way his mouth looked stretched over his length, “You’re right, I do love it, but I’ve seen how hard you get from doing it- hah!”

Sicheng circled the tip with his tongue, successfully stopping the brunette from saying much else. It was true, he was never a fan of giving oral. The first time Yuta had asked him to, he wanted to say no, but he found that he broke all sorts of rules when it came to the hybrid. At first, he thought it was because of how much the brunette enjoyed it, but then he found himself starting it, the other no longer having to ask him to.

He used his hand to fondle the balls, massaging them together. Sicheng looked at Yuta through half-lidded eyes, pumping his erection in slow strokes, his mouth still on the tip, tongue moving in circles. He removed his hand in favor of placing it on the brunette’s thigh, not breaking eye contact as took half of the length in his mouth, bobbing his head up and down in a steady rhythm, every few beats flicking his tongue over the large throbbing vein. He moaned around the member, enjoying the musky taste.

“ _Fuck_ , Sicheng - god!” Yuta let his head rest against the headboard, mouth open as low moans left his lips. The Chinese male’s mouth was heavenly.

Sicheng released the cock with a pop, pressing a teasing kiss to the head before licking a long strip down the length all the way to his balls, taking some of it into his mouth and sucking before giving the other one the same treatment. He gave the elder a smirk when he took the cock in his mouth again, relaxing his throat and hollowing his cheeks, taking all of Yuta in his mouth. The brunette’s cock hit the back of his throat, slightly gagging him, but holding it there for a few seconds before bobbing up and repeating it several times.

Sicheng’s mouth looked wrecked, lips red and bruised, saliva dribbling down his chin, but the look suited him well in contrast to his innocent appearance. He sucked on the tip one more time, pausing to say something. “Fuck my mouth.”

It took the Japanese male a few seconds to process what the male had said, shocked from the words. He let out a loud groan, an animalistic growl escaping his lips as he drove his hips up, not gentle in his trusting. Sicheng wanted him to fuck his mouth and he was going to do just that. He continued to shove his cock into his lover’s willing mouth, enjoying the gagging sounds that he’d make whenever his cock went in particularly deep. Yuta lifted the male off, deciding it was time to move on. “Are you alright?” He may have been rough with his treatment, but that didn’t mean he wished to hurt the other.

Sicheng smiled, nodding his head. “Y-Yeah…,” he bit his lip, embarrassed by what he was about to say. “I-I actually enjoyed it…”

Yuta chuckled, not too surprised. “Mhmm, I’ll keep that in mind.” He pressed a chaste kiss on his lips. “On your knees, I need to prep you.”

The auburn haired boy followed the command, sticking his ass out as he formed a perfect arch. He felt the bed shift, Yuta moving around to dig through the nightstand. “Lube’s in the second drawer.”

The alpha grabbed the bottle of lube, throwing it on the bed. He pushed Sicheng’s asscheeks apart, giving the rim a tentative lick, causing the male to let out loud moan. He continued to nip around the hole before pushing his tongue inside, switching between thrusting it fast and slowly, driving Sicheng mad. Yuta paused his ministrations in favor of opening the uncapping the bottle, coating his fingers in lube. He continued to eat him out, his forefinger joining in as he pushed it inside before a second joined and he was scissoring him.

“ _Ahh_.. _.nngh._.more, please” Sicheng was biting his knuckles, trying to muffle any embarrassing noise that tried to escape. The sound from Yuta eating his ass and his lubed fingers were filthy. The Chinese male’s body flushing from the noise. “ _Haah - Fuck_!”

Yuta shoved another finger inside, jabbing all three against his insides, almost instantaneously finding the small bundle of nerves, relentless in his fingering. He curled his fingers, licking at the rim one last time before stopping completely. He grabbed more of the lube and covered his cock in the cool gel, rubbing his length between the two cheeks. “Ready?” He waited for Sicheng to respond, pushing inside when he nodded his head, pausing again to wait for the male to adjust.

“G-Go...please…”

Yuta started off slow, easing the two into their lovemaking. The pace he was going at did nothing for them, urging him to speed up. His hands gripped Sicheng’s waist tightly before he delivered a slow hard thrust, expertly hitting his prostate each time. He leaned forward, whispering in his ear. “Does that feel good?”

Sicheng nodded his head eagerly, digging his fingernails into the sheets as he felt a familiar coiling in his stomach, blood pounding in his ears when he pressed his forehead into the mattress. “Yes.. _nng - ah_! S-So good..” His thighs began to tremble, spreading further apart from the overwhelming pleasure until he lay almost flat on the bed, back no longer arched. He was close to climaxing, to reaching nirvana, _so close_ , but Yuta didn’t allow him, pulling out just when he was about to cum. Sicheng lifted his head, turning to look at the other, letting out a loud whine at the loss.

Yuta stared at him, running his hand up the back of Sicheng’s thigh to his hole, pressing his thumb against the puffy opening, not enough pressure to push inside, just enough to tease, drawing a whimper out from his bruised plump lips. “You have to wait for me baby boy.” He chuckled when Sicheng buried his face into the bed, embarrassed from the nickname. The alpha caressed his tailbone, rubbing the engorged head of his cock against the rim, pushing just the tip in before pulling out, repeating the action over and over until Sicheng let out a cry, begging him to stop teasing. He slammed his hips forward, cutting him off mid-sentence, laying his body over the Sicheng’s back, putting his full weight on him. The alpha felt hot and thick inside of him, cock throbbing as it pushed in and out.

The pace the alpha set was brutal, fast-paced and hard, nothing gentle about it, intent on making the male under him forget everything but the name of the person who was causing him to fall apart, to unravel him like a piece of thread only he knew how to fix. He wanted to pick him apart molecule by molecule, put him back together after he was finished only to repeat the process over and over until the sensation was buried in his head.

Sicheng struggled to catch his breath, overwhelmed by the immense pleasure Yuta was delivering. The sound of skin slapping against skin went over his head, along with the creaking of the bed. The sheets were bunching up from how hard his hands were grasping them, knuckles turning white from the tight hold. He didn’t notice Yuta extending an arm out until a hand gripped his neck, forcing his head back so the brunette could press sloppy wet kisses against the column, sucking until the melanin filled skin flourished with harsh reds and blues, letting everyone know he already belonged to someone. A thrill ran up his spine when he felt his middle finger and thumb apply pressure. Sicheng foreign to the feeling of being choked, almost wanted him to press harder, to stop his airways, make him submit. Yuta, as if reading his mind, tightened his grip, effectively cutting off any oxygen. His vision became blurry, splotches of black appearing before him the longer breathing was denied.

The loss of air and accurate thrusts aimed at his prostate was enough to do him in, causing Sicheng to let out a silent scream, hips spasming as he came hard. Yuta was merciless, continuing to pound into him with fervor, hand taking pity on him as he released his neck in favor of shoving two fingers into his mouth, sliding them against his tongue, muffling the loud pants and moans. He was sure there would be marks blooming on his neck in the form of handprints. Drool was coming down the side of his mouth, dribbling down his chin.

The brunette stopped his maddening thrusts, replacing them with drawn out rotations of his hips, slowly but deeply grinding the mushroom-shaped tip against his prostate, still sensitive from cumming a few seconds ago. Yuta pulled out, removing his fingers in favor of lifting the male’s hips, turning Sicheng over so that he was laying on his back, his forefinger tracing his stomach where cum was splayed. “You came so hard just from that,” he rubbed his cockhead against the puckered rim, letting out a low groan when the hole clenched and unclenched around air, asking him to fill him again, “And look, you still want more.” He slowly pushed back inside, watching as Sicheng’s arms moved up, trying to find something to hold onto, “ _So greedy_ ,” He pushed inside, emphasizing his words with a particularly hard thrust.

Yuta dove forward, capturing Sicheng’s bruised lips in a sloppy open tongue kiss, breaking it in order to deliver harsh sucks on the long column of his neck, pressing soft tender pecks in apology. He didn’t care that he was going to claim the auburn-haired boy, one mark was not enough, his body was a canvas and it deserved to be covered in shades of reds, blues, and purples.

Sicheng had one hand gripping the brunette’s shoulder, fingernails breaking through skin, the other had a strong hold on silky strands, burying the male’s head against his neck. He murmured words of encouragement into Yuta’s ear, telling him to go faster, to make him his, moaning and panting, letting him know how much of a good job he was doing. “Y-Yuta..

Sicheng hooked an ankle around Yuta’s waist, the other hooked around his calf. “ _Haah, please_...want it. _Yuta_...please!” The Chinese male was past coherent thoughts, words forming broken sentences. He could feel the alphas hot breath against the juncture between his neck and shoulder, sharp canine teeth scraping against the skin, teasing him. There was going to be pain, but he wasn’t scared, he wanted to belong to Yuta, wanted to show him how serious he was.

“Say it,” Yuta was demanding as the growing knot kept catching on his rim, causing friction every time he pressed inside. His voice went up an octave, becoming raspy and deep, animalistic side showing through. “Say that you’re _mine_ ,” he let out a snarl, wolf surfacing from his subconscious.

Sicheng felt so small and hot under Yuta’s stare. “Y-Yours...all yours…”

“Who do you belong to?” The brunette grabbed his legs by the calves, pressing a chaste kiss against one of his ankles before proceeding to place them on his shoulders, bending the Chinese male in half.

“Yuta...you _ha_..I belong to - _haah fuck_!”

The alpha shoved the swelled head inside, his knot locking them in place. Yuta was naturally dominant and possessive, but normally he was more calm and controlled, not explosive as he was now. He liked prolonging things, teasing the other person, but his primitive side wanted nothing of that sort, it wanted to dominate Sicheng, to let him know that he was his, and _his_ alone. A few more thrusts and he was cumming, teeth elongating and piercing through skin, officially claiming him inside and outside.

Yuta continued to mouth against the closing wound, forming a claim mark. “ _Mine, all mine!_ ”

Sicheng was officially gone, barely catching the brunette's words, eyes shut tight as his mouth formed a perfect ‘o.’ The pain that came with the bite mark was intense, even more overwhelming when paired with the high of his climax. All that left from his mouth were hoarse cries of pleasure and broken mantras of the alpha’s name. His back formed a perfect arch as he neared pure ecstasy, vision turning white, the closest to heaven he’d ever get. The knot continued to press against his prostate, heavy and hot as it rubbed against his contracting walls, continuously spurting cum. Yuta released his neck, licking the wound as he dragged their orgasms out, only stopping when Sicheng weakly tapped his chest, letting him know that he couldn’t take anymore, his body already overstimulated since his earlier climax.

Daylight poke through the blinds, waking Sicheng who passed out last night. He felt around, trying to feel Yuta’s body, but was met with sheets that were slightly warm, the only evidence that someone else was lying in bed with him. He sat up, expecting to feel dried cum on his body, pleasantly surprised when his body was completely clean. The alpha had obviously cleaned him up after he passed out. The auburn haired boy stood up, allowing his long thin legs to carry him to the bathroom, his body feeling a bit like jelly from last night’s events, but it didn’t feel bad, it felt good for some odd reason. His cheeks reddened when he saw the state he was in, his hair was sticking out in odd places, but his body was the worst. Marks were littered everywhere, his neck, chest, stomach, hips, and thighs, even on his back. Yuta made sure no section was left untouched. He was about to touch them, jumping when he was someone else’s presence through the mirror.

The alpha was smirking, clearly enjoying the sight before him. “Hmm, you look good, you were already so pretty, but this is even better.” He walked over, taking a hold of his waist. “My favorite is this one,” his lips brushed against the large mark on his neck, the claim mark. “You’re mine, finally mine.”

Sicheng turned around, wrapping his arms around Yuta’s neck. “Yours, only yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This story has to be the one that has drained me the most thus far, but I have thoroughly enjoyed writing it, but damn if I'm not exhausted.
> 
> I hope the smut was to everyone's satisfactory, it's my second time writing it, and I hope it turned out well. I actually think it's about half of the chapter lol. 
> 
> Also, there's going to be mistakes. I haven't fully looked it over, but I'll try to get to that as soon as I can, I just hope there is no major mistake.
> 
> Anyways, everything aside, I hope ya'll enjoy the final chapter.


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